This is my Masterpiece

This is my Masterpiece

Thursday, September 5, 2013

He is unconditional; he is incredible.

So Miss-Uninvited-to-my-Birthday read the post... on the eve of her party and her fb comment was,
        "I am at a loss for words that you would write a blog that makes it sound like Gavin was uninvited to my party because he has special needs when that is far from the truth!" Within minutes, her husband texts, "You've got to be kidding me! What the #*/$ has gotten into you?"

Um, okay... wow.  The title is "Explain it to HIM."  But now I am thinking someone needs to explain it to her (or them?)  Not one bit of recognition that a child was hurt by her decision?  No realization that my son was looking forward to her party and that it mattered to him?   No grasp that in the rush to make everything seem perfect the most perfect little soul was being squashed. Kind of myopic but it's her party. 

I am okay with this truth.  One.  It is a blog about Gavin who does happen to have special needs.  So truth.  Two.  Birthdays (all holidays, special events, and activities that deviate from the standard schedule) are challenging for him.  So truth.  Three.  We were uninvited.  So truth, again.  I apologize to anyone who read the blog and came to the a conclusion that we were uninvited because my son has Down syndrome.  That was not her reason.  The reason is irrelevant.  Gavin doesn't know the reason and the reason has no bearing on his feelings.

What I hoped Miss-Uninvited-to-my-Birthday would come away with was:  It. Broke. My. Son's. Heart. 

Now part of how I define my role as a parent is protecting my son from someone who would hurt him.  I try to educate those that don't know better, and when someone does know better and still chooses to act in a hurtful way, well we distance ourselves.  If someone doesn't get it I can't make them get it but I don't need to continue to subject my son (or myself) to those choices.

The lesson for me was even in his his disappointment, he comforted me.  He didn't dwell on her insensitivity.  He didn't spend on minute there... he moved right on to, "maybe next time."  He is unconditional; he is incredible.  I want to be more like him.  I could use some of that divine chromosome.  Our friendship could use some of that divine chromosome. 

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