Explain it to HIM

As a parent of a child with special needs we are use to not getting invited to birthday parties.  It is almost easier.  There are way too many sensory triggers at a birthday party... balloons, screams of excitement, presents that aren't for my child, sugar, adults dressed up as a giant whatever, games with rules, singing... usually bad singing and candles (hello fire?)  We want the invite but can't quite bring ourselves to drop our kid at the party.  We hover, we hope they will be perfect angels in a completely chaotic situation. We worry about our child's behavior.  As if this wasn't challenge enough we have gone dairy and gluten free (no cake and ice cream, no pizza, no sandwiches, no ranch dip, no nuggets and no mac-n-cheese, to name a few).  As I said we usually don't miss "not being invited" to birthday parties.

But this one was different.  It was for a beloved adult... someone my child cherishes.  It was at a restaurant where we could order according to our dietary needs.  No furry adults, no screams of excitement, and no games.  I told my child about the party and he was excited.

Then I got the text message letting us know not to attend.  Yeah, you read that right, uninvited via a text.  Oh it wasn't a straight out "BTW, Uninvited," text... no it meandered around with pleasantries, how am I doing, blah, blah, blah and then the punch... "(she) hopes (I) understand."  I understand just fine.  My next text should have been some gracious well chosen words.  But my thumbs failed me.

In the grand scheme of things, it's just a party.  Again, we usually try to avoid these things.  They aren't even considered.  So this morning when he woke up, ran to his closet and returned with two ties for her special party... I had no words.  How do I explain it to HIM?  He trusts so completely and loves so unconditionally.  He says, "(her name) 's Party?"  I reply, "No honey, not today."  He walks over to the calendar and points to where I have written it on today's square, "Sunday, party!"  I sigh, reel him into an embrace, "You are so smart..."  I am stammering for how to explain it to his heart.  I pull him into a hug, "not for us, okay?"  He smiles, puts his hand on my face catching a tear, "Okay, mama, maybe next time?"